A Tail Told by Lead

This list arose out of an ongoing conversation on the Acme Pet Dog House Bulletin Board about things our dogs have eaten. While this list may provide you with a laugh or two (hey....better me than you, right?), it is a good example of what can happen to a dog that is left unattended before she is ready. Luckily for myself and for Bacall, she has never seriously injured herself. But we've made more than one emergency trip to the vet because of her snacking habits, and she's done a LOT of damage to my belongings. So enjoy a laugh at my expense, and think of me next time you consider leaving young Fluffy alone while you just run that quick errand.

[Posted in January or early February of 1998.]

I've thought of more stuff, and yesterday she ate ANOTHER sponge, bringing the total up to 7. ;) Here is the list....

THINGS BACALL HAS EATEN

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2 yellow pages books (torn into 3 inch pieces)
5 tv cables
1 hat
4 bras
countless pairs of underwear
12 books
2 plastic travel dishes
6 spoons (I am now a spoonless household)
4 compact discs, including cases
2 litter boxes
6 plastic storage bowls
1 rubber cat food bin
3 towels
3 blankets (okay...only MOST of the blankets)
1 jar of Carmex (never DID find the metal lid)
2 leashes
1 collar
3 newspapers
1 vacuum cleaner cord
4 stereo cords
2 whicker baskets
all the soft dog toys in the house
8 insulin syringes
1 lamp (yes....including the bulb!!)
7 sponges
2 sink stoppers (one plastic, one metal)
2 bottles of hand lotion

Her very favorite thing in the world. Ball point pens. She's eaten at least 30 of them. She has seemingly permanent ink stains on her paws.

Also....

The cushions to my only chair.
2 pairs of gloves
1 bottle of root starter (this is when I discovered the animal poison control!)
1 box of feminine hygiene products (thanks for the reminder of that one, North. ;) )
3 houseplants
2 boards from a fence
3 rolls of toilet paper

(What's that noise??? Oh...just Bacall....she's trying to eat the cardboard roll from some wrapping paper right now.)

1 shovel handle
2 garden hoses
1 trowel
2 screwdrivers
1 cheese grater
1 tea kettle
1 zip disk

None of this includes the many many food items she's stolen. Yep.....she can get into the fridge! Also on top of the counters, and stove.

Now...I ask you all again.....anyone want a dog? Free to good home! LOL!!!!!

UPDATE 3/21/99

First, I must honestly say that Bacall has gotten MUCH better over the past year. I still cannot trust her unattended for long periods of time, but I can usually walk out to the mailbox without returning to find something destroyed on the floor. Note, however, that I did say "usually". With that in mind, here is an update to this list. These items and numbers are IN ADDITION to the above list, so add the numbers to reach a total.

pens--I have completely lost count of the number of pens that Bacall has eaten, but the total must be well over 100 by now.

5 CDs with cases (she's particularly fond of eating Squirrel Nut Zippers CDs--I am now on my 4th copy of "HOT")
4 wooden spoons
4 technical manuals
8 hardback books
2 picture frames
7 photographs
1 set of watercolor paints
2 sets of oil pastels
1 set of chalk pastels
18 PrismaColor pencils
1 skein of hand-dyed, hand-spun wool yarn
8 postcards
2 leashes
1 clicker (yes, the training clicker)
2 sponges
2 bars of soap
1 bottle of shampoo
1 blanket (again, only MOST of the blanket, but still!)
4 notebooks

Copyright © 1998, 2001 by OffLead Productions. Reprinted with permission of the author.