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A Tail Told by Lazerpoodle
We used to own an old beige car. It was all we could
afford at the time and so it was pressed into service,
despite the fact that the poor car needed to be retired
to an automobile junk yard, at least a decade prior.
The elements had played an unkind trick on the car's
paint and had turned the once tasteful beige into a
badly cracked and rusting florid pink tone; which looked
as though it badly needed the services of a plastic
surgeon. The engine, worn and weary, made the most obscene
sorts of moans and groans. So naturally, we had to call
this pitiful vehicle: "Flesh Ecstasy."
There came a sunny day! (Rare in these parts.) We loaded
Flesh Ecstasy with our tiny dogs and headed toward the
park. We pulled up to the stop sign in front of the
neighborhood fire station. It was a charmingly bucolic
scene. The firemen, seated on benches under a large
maple tree, were waving like they always did. We waved
back. The firemen kept waving. We waved back some more!
The firemen were pointing and gesturing. We pointed
and gestured back! The firemen were coming toward us
with a big hose. We thought "Oh what silly, funny
firemen they are!" We laughed at the good joke.
Then- a fireman opened my car door and grabbed me and
a pile of fuzzies from the car! Meantime, another fireman
had pulled my husband out from behind the wheel.
Flesh Ecstasy was a blaze. Yes! The groaning old car
had caught on fire! Fortunately, the firemen had seen
the smoke and flames begin to rise from under the car
and they hauled down the hose, just in time! Thus, saving
the hub, your correspondent here and all our dogs. (Our
name is still legion at that particular fire house,
all these years later. ROFLMBO!)
Smoldering Flesh Ecstasy had to be hauled off to rest
in peace. The guy who came to tow away the molten pink
wreck said "Holy Excrement! What the hades happened
here?!" And, he also added "Oh, we have a
poodle, too! Your poodles didn't have anything to do
with this car fire, did they?" (Clearly he knew
the breed. LOL)
Well, I must unplug. So, y'all are saved from reading
the second dog story. But,
I'll be back tomorrow or soon! (Get the hose.)
And meantime, check under the hood and also check those
smoke alarms in your house. -Because, I know for a fact,
an overly alarmed poodle is apt to bite into a fireman's
boot! And, then the hilarity and mayhem will begin.
ROFL
Hope to boot up soon, my derned self. TTYL
LP~
Copyright © 1998, 2001 by elle pea. Reprinted
with permission of the author.
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