A Tail Told by JD

DOG COMMANDS AND THEIR VARIOUS VARIATIONS ACCORDING TO REGION:

SIT:
AKC/American: "Sit"
German: "Sitz"
Southern: "Sitz yo a$$ down, now!"

DOWN:
AKC/American: "Down" 
German: "Platz" 
Southern: "Gitchyo a$$ down on the ground, now!"

COME:
AKC/American: "Come" 
German: "Hier" 
Southern: "JAKE! You best gitchyo a$$ over heah right now! Don't make me come after you!"

STAY:
AKC/American: "Stay" 
German: "Blithe" 
Southern: "Don't you move, gol-dangit, or I'll blow yo' head off."

JUMP:
AKC/American: "Up" 
German: "Hup" 
Southern: "Go on, Jake! Gitchyo a$$ up that tree an' git that coon." 
Southern alt: "Go on, there Jake! Gitchyo a$$ up there in the truck!"

OUT:
AKC/American: "Out" 
German: "Aus" 
Southern: "GOL-DANG IT!!! Leggo a my arm you stupid (epletive deleted) cur dog!!!"

NO
AKC/American: "No" 
German: "Nein" 
Southern: "Quit doin' that you (expletive deleted) dawg!!!"

FETCH
AKC/American: "Fetch" 
German: "Bringst" 
Southern: "JAKE! Go over yonder and fetch me that there dead duck 'fore I take a stick to ya'!"

SEND AWAY:
AKC/American: "Go" 
German: "Voraus" 
Southern: "Go on, Jake! Get your stinkin' wet a$$ offa my porch!"

TRACK 
AKC/American: "Find it" 
German: "Such" (tsuuk) 
Southern: (No command here, but rather the good Southern handler gets on the ground himself--or herself--and intensely sniffs the ground, showing the dog how to do it)

BITE
AKC/American: "Attack!" 
German: "Fass!" 
Southern: "Sic 'em, Jake--go for his crotch! OWWWWW!!! Not MY crotch you (expletive deleted) sorry (expletive deleted) cur dog!!! (Refer to "OUT" command. . .)

So, as you can see, there is quite a bit of cultural diversity between dogs and the regions of the country in which they grow up.

--JD

Copyright © 1998, 2001 by J.D. Kinman. Reprinted with permission of the author.