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A Tail Told by JD

DOG COMMANDS AND THEIR VARIOUS VARIATIONS ACCORDING
TO REGION:
SIT:
AKC/American: "Sit"
German: "Sitz"
Southern: "Sitz yo a$$ down, now!"
DOWN:
AKC/American: "Down"
German: "Platz"
Southern: "Gitchyo a$$ down on the ground, now!"
COME:
AKC/American: "Come"
German: "Hier"
Southern: "JAKE! You best gitchyo a$$ over heah
right now! Don't make me come after you!"
STAY:
AKC/American: "Stay"
German: "Blithe"
Southern: "Don't you move, gol-dangit, or I'll
blow yo' head off."
JUMP:
AKC/American: "Up"
German: "Hup"
Southern: "Go on, Jake! Gitchyo a$$ up that tree
an' git that coon."
Southern alt: "Go on, there Jake! Gitchyo a$$ up
there in the truck!"
OUT:
AKC/American: "Out"
German: "Aus"
Southern: "GOL-DANG IT!!! Leggo a my arm you stupid
(epletive deleted) cur dog!!!"
NO
AKC/American: "No"
German: "Nein"
Southern: "Quit doin' that you (expletive deleted)
dawg!!!"
FETCH
AKC/American: "Fetch"
German: "Bringst"
Southern: "JAKE! Go over yonder and fetch me that
there dead duck 'fore I take a stick to ya'!"
SEND AWAY:
AKC/American: "Go"
German: "Voraus"
Southern: "Go on, Jake! Get your stinkin' wet a$$
offa my porch!"
TRACK
AKC/American: "Find it"
German: "Such" (tsuuk)
Southern: (No command here, but rather the good Southern
handler gets on the ground himself--or herself--and
intensely sniffs the ground, showing the dog how to
do it)
BITE
AKC/American: "Attack!"
German: "Fass!"
Southern: "Sic 'em, Jake--go for his crotch! OWWWWW!!!
Not MY crotch you (expletive deleted) sorry (expletive
deleted) cur dog!!! (Refer to "OUT" command.
. .)
So, as you can see, there is quite a bit of cultural
diversity between dogs and the regions of the country
in which they grow up.
--JD
Copyright © 1998, 2001 by J.D. Kinman.
Reprinted with permission of the author.

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