from JD

Leilah was restless.

The more she tried to get comfortable and rest, the more troubled she became.

Something was wrong.

Earlier, Mom had come home in a rush and with tears in her eyes. The phone wouldn't quit ringing and the house suddenly seemed cold. At one point, Mom grabbed her up and hugged her so tight she thought she wasn't go to be able to breathe. And when she finally got back down on the floor again, her fur was wet. She gave a little wag of her tail, which usually made Mom smile, but this time it only made Mom start crying again.

So Leilah jumped up and ran to the window. After all, if Mom was home, that meant Dad would be home soon, didn't it? But when she looked out the window, the world outside looked different, somehow. . . Like it was missing something. She ran back over to Mom and looked at her, asking the question with her eyes. The phone rang again, and Mom was strong when she answered it, but began crying again.

That's when Leilah thought she heard Mom say something about Dad.

The room started looking misty and gray, and she couldn't seem to focus real well on anything. Suddenly, Leilah became very tired. She laid down on her little bed, closed her eyes and prayed that Mom was mistaken, that what she had said on the phone wasn't true. And as Leilah continued praying, she slowly dozed off into a deep, but fitful slumber. . .

Leilah awoke with a start.

The world seemed very bright, very warm and comforting and as she stood up and slowly stretched, she saw another dog standing in front of her. Baring her teeth at the stranger, Leilah prepared to drive the stranger away. But upon looking around, she discovered she was not at home!

"Don't be afraid," the other dog said, taking a step forward.

"Who are you?" asked Leilah.

"My name is Charlie," answered the other dog, a female Doberman. "We think you have some questions, so we brought you here to help answer them."

"Where am I," asked a very confused Leilah.

"You're in a place that has many names," explained Charlie. "Some call it the Rainbow Bridge, others call it the Big Kennel, but your Mom and Dad would call it Heaven."

"But I'm not dead, what am I doing here?"

"No, you're not," agreed Charlie. "But the Head Trainer called you up here so the two of you could talk. There's something you have to do before going back home to your Mom."

"What's that?"

"Say good-bye to somebody you know."

Leilah got an uneasy feeling in her stomach. As Charlie began leading Leilah inside through the Gates Made of Milk Bones, the Head Trainer appeared.

"Hello, Leilah," said the Head Trainer. "Charlie will take you to the place you need to go, then you'll come back and we'll talk for a bit before it's time for you to go back to your Mom."

"This way," motioned Charlie, as she started up the path over to where the Looking Glass stood. The Looking Glass was a special window to Earth in which you could look down and see everyone. All you had to do was think, and that message would go to whoever you were thinking about. It was how all the dogs in the Big Kennel would talk to their owners whenever their owners became sad.

As they approached the Looking Glass, Leilah saw a man sitting down in the grass and petting another dog. Somehow, the man looked really familiar. Then when he turned to see who was approaching. . .

"DAD!!!" shouted Leilah, as she bolted for the man. "DAD! I'm so glad I found you. Mom and I were looking everywhere and Mom is so worried and scared, she's crying and everything. I can't believe I found you! Oh, DAD!!!"

Nick at first looked sad, then he gave a small, lopsided grin as he gave Leilah a quick hug. "How are ya', girl?"

Leilah just wagged her tail and licked Nick's face like nothing else mattered. Then it finally dawned on Leilah what was going on.

"Oh no, Dad. . ." stammered Leilah. "No--"

"It's all right," Nick assured Leilah. "It's OK. I know this scares you, but trust me, it's all right."

"But what about Mom?" cried Leilah. "What are we going to do without you? Mom will be so lonely."

"No," answered Nick, "because she has you."

"And she also has me," said the Head Trainer, who had just walked up and sat down on the grass with Nick, Charlie and Leilah.

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS???" wailed a sobbing Leilah to the Head Trainer. "It's not fair. Dad was so good to all of us and Mom loved him so much. Why did you have to TAKE HIM NOW?!?"

"Leilah," began the Head Trainer, "there are things happening down there on Earth that are good, and there are things happening that are not good. Do you understand why I bring dogs home here?"

"Yes," Leilah quietly answered. "You make them angels to look out for other dogs who are not as lucky as me."

"You're very wise," nodded the Head Trainer. "And I do the same with people. It's a very difficult time down on Earth for a lot of people right now. While I could stop it all in the blink of an eye, I choose to let humans have free will and reign over their lives. But some of the people have problems to great for them to bear alone, and they ask me for help. There are elderly people who are all alone in nursing homes with nobody to talk to, nobody to listen to them. There are children living in impoverished inner-city neighborhoods surrounded by drugs and criminals. There are children and women who are being abused and molested. And there are good people who sometimes make mistakes that could get them in a lot of trouble if somebody wasn't there to stop them."

"Those people, Leilah," continued the Head Trainer, "they need angels."

"But why my Dad?" asked Leilah.

"Leilah," Nick began, "the Head Trainer and I were talking. Seems I would've gone anytime, and nobody knew it. If your Mom and I had really known about it, we wouldn't have lived our lives to the fullest. We would've held back, we would've always worried about when "it was time." And that would have distracted us from truly living every day to its fullest, to love each other unconditionally--like our wedding vows: For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

"Instead," said the Head Trainer, "your Mom and Dad lived life with the joy of their love for each other one day at a time. They are great people, people with goodness in their hearts and souls. People who will not let death affect their love for each other."

Charlie got up and went over to Nick and whispered something in his ear. Nick smiled, nodded and gave Charlie a pat on the head.

"Leilah," said Nick. "It seems there is a job for me to do up here. I'll be in training for a while, but when I'm finished I'll be going back and forth to Earth. There are children who need an angel, and there are others who need help and guidance that they can't get anywhere else. Those people all alone in a strange hospital who know they'll never leave? I'll be there with them, talking to them and giving them comfort. The children who are being abused? I'll be there with them, taking their pain to spare them any more. And just as Charlie here shows dogs how to get around up here, so will I when it's time for people to come Home."

"So, does that mean I'll see you when you're down on Earth?" asked a hopeful Leilah.

"I'm afraid not," answered the Head Trainer. "But, you will know when your Dad is down there for you will suddenly feel young again, and his memory will suddenly wash through you, making you happy, not sad."

This was all just too much for Leilah, and she began sobbing again. "But, but. . . I'll miss you so much--and what about Mom?"

As Charlie moved over to comfort Leilah, Nick gently stroked Leilah's neck. "Tell Mom that I love her dearly--and in ways now that I can no longer express. But we can no longer talk person to person, no, we will now have to express our love soul to soul, spirit to spirit. I will always love Mom, always, and will be there to comfort her thoughts in her times of need. And until we meet again, Leilah, I need you to be there for Mom."

The Head Trainer nodded at Charlie. "OK, Leilah," said Charlie, "it's time to go back down. Your mom will be waking up soon, and you need to be there when she does."

As everyone got up, the Head Trainer petted Leilah one last time, as did Nick. And as they all walked by the Looking Glass, a chorus of angels appeared all around them and began singing a symphonic chorus filled with Joy, Glory, Praise and Hope. And down on Earth, that chorus reverberated throughout, manifesting itself in a variety of nature's most awesome displays: Spectacular rays of sunshine. Life-giving rain storms. Crashing ocean waves. Pure white driven snow flakes. Infinite winds whipping across the plains.

Giving her dad one last look, Leilah turned to Charlie and said, "I'm ready. Let's go back."

Charlie paused, and then pointed. Nick was at the Looking Glass with the Head Trainer.

"Francoise," he began, "I loved you when we first met and I loved you every single day we were blessed to have together. Be strong, my love, for our time apart will not be an eternity, but our time together when we meet again will be for Eternity."

"I love you."

Leilah turned and looked at Charlie. "The Head Trainer only takes the best for His angels, doesn't he."

"Nothing but the best," was Charlie's reply.

(Dedicated to the loving memory of Nick and to his bride and eternal soulmate, Francoise. God truly Blessed the both of you.)

--JD

Francoise is the author of the Leilah's Laughs website, and a beloved member of the online canine community. You can read her Loving Memory Of Nick, and the Memorial given to her by her friends.

Francoise, you have been, and continue to be, a source of constant support for many. As time slips by you continue to be in our thoughts. If we can ever return in kind any of the many gifts you have shared, you need only say the word.

Copyright © 1999, 2001 by JD Kinman. Reprinted with permission of the author.